'". The Charmin' Carmen (@Charmin_Carmen) January 11, 2023. I just instructed my 4YO to be reasonable so make sure youre following me for all the best parenting tips. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (January 5, 2023) Happy New Year, Parents! I have little qualification to speak on this . If you're also struggling to put down the phone and need one more thing to scroll through before you do, these parenting tweets might do just that, and make you go "ho ho ho" in the process. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 10-16) "'I better not shout, I better not cry,' I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time." By Caroline Bologna Dec 16, 2022, 02:44 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Parents m Quick story - I know this parent whose kid stayed home from school one day this week. Told my toddler she can't say fuck anymore so now she says "what the cocomelon" and honestly that should catch on, Grew up listening to Indian mythology. Picked up my son and his girlfriend last night and asked what they wanted to listen to and she said Fleetwood Mac. Yelling out the answers to Blues clues to absolutely own my 4 year-old and his know-it-all friends. I asked 5 why she was still awake and she rolled her eyes and said because my eyes are still open and I think her transition to teen is complete, This is my son's (6 y.o.) before becoming a parent i didn't know i could ruin someone's life by providing them with food, water, juice, clothes, entertainment and shelter for free. My 7yo: Daddy could you move over youre sitting in my imaginary dogs spot. Thats weird, I thought. Dimples are just the cutest thing! A rock where there are no children? Mrs . Here are some of the best tweets I've come across this week. 50 Funniest Parenting Memes + Tweets This Week by Chris Illuminati April 8, 2022 Comments 0 Welcome to another installment of " parents about to lose their shit" better known as the funniest parenting memes & tweets of the week. Our drop-off time is 8:24. Janene #1 Why is this so true Get your kid a hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! My wife and I agreed to no gifts for our wedding anniversary, which is why Im out shopping right now. Some people want to have kids as soon as possible, and some have to scramble toward the finish line, with the supposed finish line being when a woman is 40. There's something so crazy about that, and all I'm hoping is that Nick Cannon quits while he's ahead. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 22, 2022) It's that time of the yearthe kids are out of school, and they are going hog wild. 80% of parenting teens is talking to them when they have AirPods in and they don't hear anything you say. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Nothing says This parenting gig is easy! like using my sons last juice box as a mixer. A. Here are some of the best quips I've come across this week. Well, for now. Nothing is certain but death, taxes, and that wall of boogers behind every kids bed. The Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Week (July 21, 2022) A wise woman once told me, "Darling, if you have a baby, then you can't be the baby ." Whenever I think I want to become the vessel for an infant's lifeblood, I am reminded that I am not ready to stop being the baby. Here are some of the best quips Ive come across this week. Sorry I didnt make mashed potatoes. My wife and I are going to be super bummed if we dont get a good grade on our daughters science fair project. My 7 yo just asked ME when was his birthdate. Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) June 8, 2022. Follow me for more eye-opening parenting tips. Im writing a fantasy fiction novel about a mom that has a cold and her family does things for themselves while she rests. My 5 year old thinks that vaginas are better than penises because vagina rhymes with more words, this is not how I expected this conversation to go, Now that my baby knows how to say "No," it's over for you bitches**It's me. My wife was telling me how happy she is that the baby likes her food so I pointed out that he also likes to eat envelopes and now shes mad at me for some reason. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. My mom, looking at the baby: oh my gosh! Here they are: 1. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. She asked if it's a name for goats. 2022 45 Funny Tweets From This Month So Far That Reminded Me Why I Never Delete Twitter "I knew I was a real flirt when I. I said bye but she walked straight in. The 20 Funniest Tweets from Parents this Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! The fact that my 8 year old farted in my face RIGHT after I told him that Id had a terrible day has me thinking that all those fairytales about parents leaving their kids in the woods may have actually been true stories. Is this what good parenting feels like?? The idea of them, especially when advertised on TV, is great: I'm into the promise of less sulking, more action, and a relatively positive attitude. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 8, 2022) The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 8, 2022) 12/8/2022 Like 2 Comments | 13 As far as I can remember,. Me: You mean red light, green light. BuzzFeed Staff . Follow me for more parenting tips. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Functioning is something everyone wants to do. What does that mean?Me: [mumbling] They plan on screwing up my Friday, that's what. Published Jan 13, 2023. Yep,. "Prayers for my distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his apple juice". Students arriving at 8:26 will be late. 6yo: I love you Me: I love you too!6yo: I wasnt talking to you I was talking to my donut. Helping in the kitchen this morning. 4yo: mom the whistle makes my brain hurt me: same4yo: *blows whistle again*, my six year old wanted me to pretend to be her mom and i said i am your mom and she said but like, a cool young fun mom im glad i tore up my body to birth her just to get shredded to pieces like that. My daughter Chewbacca, not so much. She thought station wagons were hearses. My daughter was lecturing the cat about eating too much food and I'm nervous that I'm . The 50 best and funniest tweets of 2022 > Life > Digital Culture The world might be burning, but at least we have tweets. Janene #1 LOL that is every parent of a little kid right now When do we learn how to breathe underwater? My kid, overestimating his swimming lessons. The Dad @thedad My wife and I are starting an Escape Room franchise where groups. I told her it's a name. It's time to play "Is My Kid Hugging Me or Cleaning His Nose or Both?". I panicked and said "Let's talk about where babies come from". Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My son has a dentist appointment at 2.30pm tomorrow. You can just strap the baby in and GO hiking! 4. "Kids should come with a 'skip intro' button for their stories". Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! "'I better not shout, I better not cry, I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Here in New York City, my friends have taken longer than most to go on the long and exhausting journey of procreation. As 2022 is coming to a close, we . Some days I cant imagine life without my husband, other days he pops open a can of soda immediately after Ive rocked the baby to sleep. !, gentle parenting, gentle parenting. Ppl w babies: I dont see why people stop traveling when they have kids! Me: Its such a great feeling to be so loved by my family. my 9 and 7 yo each had a friend sleep over this weekend. [my youngest, 5, to me from the backseat]Mom, can you play the Never-Neverland song please?*presses play on Enter Sandman, We have a nest of baby birds and they eat anything their mom brings them without complaint, as a mom of humans I find this mind blowing. My son made a menorah in preschool and the level of care and craftsmanship he put into it is frankly antisemitic. Points for creativity to my 7yo who got caught sneaking cookies and tried to convince me she was sleepwalking, at 3pm. My 7-year-old ran into the wall and then told me that hes knocking down all walls that stand in his way. Being a parent is restraining yourself from asking your kid what the fuck are you talking about? Believe it or not, we're at the end of 2022. Welcome back! To that end, every week we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Jan 13, 2023, 03:53 PM EST. I really don't know where this conversation is going. I asked my 3 year old why she was wearing a bathing suit to dinner as if Ive never met a toddler before, Teens are great because they remind you to take some time each day to hate something. You do not know passive-aggressive until youve listened to a parent answering questions from a child who wont go the fuck to sleep. Functioning is something everyone wants to do. My husband went down the stairs first not knowing that our toddler wanted to go down the stairs first. Is 14 too early to plan the wedding? Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! My kids had money to spend at the store. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Jan. 7-13) "Thoughts and prayers. Just asked a rival dad why there was so much room between his ceiling and the top of his Christmas tree. You never thought you'd want to fight a 5yo, but here we are. I wrote on my kid's school tardy excuse. Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) August 9, 2022. Prayers for my distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his apple juice. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. The fact that my husband slept through a FIRE ALARM last night speaks volumes about what our life with a newborn was like. It is my belief that parenting is kind of like some antidepressants. We just got home and my 4yo just tossed his backpack and cup down in the floor, flopped on the couch, turned on Bluey and said whew what a day. Same, little buddy. The Funniest Parenting Tweets Of the Week (May 21, 2022) Time flies when you're having "fun." That's what I've been thinking to myself as I am reminded that I'm a childless 33 year old woman. ; ve come across this week another week and and another round of funny Tweets from parents hilarious quips parents... Asked if it 's a name for goats and tried to convince me she sleepwalking... Breathe underwater Both? `` appointment at 2.30pm tomorrow I panicked and said `` Let 's about... When they have kids 's a name for goats in and go hiking on Twitter for more son and girlfriend... 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